This Always Happens…

It really, really always happens this way. I get sick, like really sick, whenever J gets really busy. This time, I had a flareup of my lovely gallstones (more on that in a minute) followed by the nastiest head/upper respiratory infection I’ve had in a while. The gallbladder problem has been an ongoing one, and this flareup was really not bad in comparison to those in the past. But it had been “better” for a long time. So this time, I was mad. I just wanted to go to Emerg. and demand they rip it out (because Doctors cave in to the demands raving lunatics, right?). Cooler heads prevailed however (J’s, not mine) and instead I saw our family doctor and scheduled a consult with a surgeon for elective surgery. The next day I woke up congested/coughing/aching. Blah. I was sick enough to wish for someone to take care of me (I’m kind of a baby) and unfortunately, my someone was swamped with case studies. And even though I know, I know that he has absolutely no control over his workload and that it is all very important, I get sad. Sad and angry that he can’t be there for me even though I really, really want him to be. Even though he really, really wants to be. It’s hard to be sad and sick at the same time, one exacerbates the other I think. And I also get serious guilt about the state of our apartment. I had been taking it easy on the housework because of the gallbladder pain, then I got really sick and it all just fell by the wayside. And J, of course, can’t even help pick up the slack right now. So I’m surrounded by laundry and dishes and that stresses me out.

I really needed to get those feelings off my chest. Aaah, much better. But I still feel like crap.

I am however, feeling a bit better today. It’s also Friday, so J will have some time away from school work. I need a weekend of soup and tea and man/dog snuggles, hopefully I will be back at it again next week. Sorry for the frustrated post…this was more for me than those reading I suppose.

Take care all,



A Rainy Monday Night

I’m sitting here procrastinating many things. Responsibility just feels so blah today. Instead of working on my grad school letter of intent (due in 4 days) or my German/French homework I’m blogging; trying to figure out how to eat the knish I just bought; and looking at pictures of Poesy when she was a little chubster of a puppy. It’s not helping that J doesn’t have much homework tonight as it’s easier to get distracted together. I have also been combing over the responses I received after joining a website designed to help you meet new friends. Long story short, all the responses are from men and I have serious doubts that they want to be my friend…well not only that anyways. Sigh. Oh well. I’m going to go check on my eggplant parm and half a knish in the oven. And dream of being productive tomorrow…


On Grapefruit Juice

I was cutting up a grapefruit to make fruit flavoured water today whilst J was in the kitchen making himself a snack.

J: “Are you sure that won’t interact with your medication?”
Me: “Meh, it’s fine.” (I tend to be stubborn in the face of his attempts to “medical student” me)
J: “I could look it up on the medical database to be sure.”
Me: “Nah….Actually…I like drugs. Show me how?” (proceeds to look up every drug interaction with grapefruit juice).

That, my friends, is time productively spent. Screw French and/or German homework. I need to watch Dexter and look up everything you can’t take with grapefruit juice.

Hope you’re all enjoying your week 🙂


On Cabin Fever

It will not stop raining. It’s not like normal “use an umbrella” kind of rain…it’s three inches on all the sidewalks, pelting against the window rain. This is coming on the heels of lots of snow and howling wind in the very, very below zero temperatures. I was sick during the really cold part but it still sucked. What I’m getting at is this: cabin fever. I gots it. The dogs gots it too. We’re driving each other crazy. Hold on. Let me rephrase that… They are going crazy and driving me crazy. They don’t seem to be sick of me yet, maybe they’re just biding their time (mutiny?). It’s probably worse than it might have been normally because in the last two months we had two sets of house guests. And now it is quiet. My internship ended. And now I am bored.

I am always actively seeking a job, but there has been no luck finding a “real” in my field kind of job. I am having a hard time resigning myself to taking something that pays minimum wage to get raged at by under caffeinated business people or else to pretend like my life revolves around folding tshirts. I am very, very lucky that I don’t *have* to take one of these types of jobs like many people do (not yet anyways). So while I realize I am sort of complaining, I understand how lucky I am to have the luxury, at least for now, to wait for a job that I actually want. But what that all amounts to is that I am bored.

I’m taking some German and French courses, applying to grad school, cleaning my house (gasp!). But staying home all the time can only be so interesting. I could start watching a new series on netflix, read a new book, paint, etc. but I need to get a life. I think that is the major problem here. I’ve kept fairly busy since we moved to Toronto for J to attend med school but the novelty of a new city is wearing off. I have looked at sites like where you find groups of people with similar interests who meet around town for coffee/wine/book club/whatever and just join them. That honestly sounds like some form of social anxiety hell to me. I’m fine with meeting new people, but I feel like that setting would be so contrived and forced….that I would not be able to enjoy myself and make friends.

So my question to you, dear readers, is this: How do you meet people in a new city when you don’t have a built in community? I’m not attending school full time, I don’t have a place of work. So I feel stuck. Short of taking a crap job just to meet people…how does one meet people? I’m starting to think that for a borderline introvert like myself, it might be impossible. Yikes. Have any thoughts?

For now, I’m going to drink some more coffee and contemplate what to do today. Hope you’re all staying warm and not feeling cooped up like moi!


Bad, bad, bad….

Wow. Okay. Take a deep breath.

I haven’t posted in over two months…yikes. It’s terrible because as life is moving along I often stop and think: “this is soooo going on the blog!” because things happen that are funny/significant and I want to share them. I got into a bad habit where if nothing exciting was happening I figured I had nothing to record so I just didn’t write about anything. Then everything happened at once: we moved into our new apartment (YAY!), I got an internship (woot!), then it was Christmas, and we had guests, then the guests left and we were too busy enjoying J’s time off together, and now it January 11th and….yah. My bad, guys. I don’t really believe in new year’s resolutions, but this blog is one of them. I’m going to post. Post dammit. I’m going to post a minimum of twice a week! I can do it.

Rather than go wayyyyy back into all the things I should have been posting about over my two month hiatus, I think I’ll start fresh. And if you really want to know about anything I mentioned up there, just post your question in the comments! I love comments. It’s like they validate my whole existence (maybe..).

I have also gotten better about reading the blogs I like. Several of the ones I had been following for a long time decided to leave the blogging world and/or just stopped posting for a very, very long time. But I’ve discovered some new (to me) blogs that seem great. So, I’m back!

J is also back in school (sad face). Not that I didn’t know this was going to happen, but I got addicted to all the time we had together over the holidays. I am applying to grad schools, as well as starting French and German classes at the end of the month. My parents will be here is a few days too! (Mom, don’t read this…) I need to clean this place up. Do laundry, etc. Brush my dog because he looks like a street urchin….teach the other one to stay off the couch (she’s really cute and snuggle-y but the couch seats 4 people normally but only 2 when she’s on it) so that’s a problem.

In summary, I’m perpetually behind on life. Whether it be cleaning, dog care, blogging, self care (it’s 3:15pm and I haven’t had lunch…) or whatever. I’m not normally a super high energy, high motivation type….but I’ve been wallowing a little lately. Maybe it’s the weather or getting used to J being busy again, who knows? But I’m going to scrounge up some lunch (** and go to the gym (booyah! Also not a new years resolution, just doing it.).

Hope everyone is well out there!


OMG so excited!

I’ve been thinking for a while that I need to make a list of all the different things that I’m pretty excited about. Whether current or future. It’s also my way of checking in mentally and remembering to practice gratitude. Even though I haven’t landed that killer career, and I’m so not sure about what to do with my life education wise…I have a pretty sweet deal.

Things that rock:

– our neighbourhood; we live in Little Italy which is seriously cool in a lot of ways. For one it’s brimming with amazing cuisine AND a lot of it is really affordable which is great. Not just Italian food but sushi, shwarma, baked goods (OMG Sicilian Cannolis! Portugese Custards! All in moderation of course…). Second there is always something going on which makes it a pretty active, safe place to live. The streets are always busy so I feel comfortable running out for milk at night (who are we kidding, candy) if need be.

– I love our dog park. It’s full of people our age who are graduate students/young professionals so going to the dog park every day is like a fun hang out spot. Plus they all love dogs so it’s perfectly acceptable to yammer about my fur babies non-stop. I’ll be sad to leave it when we move to our apartment.

– that brings me to my next thing…I am SO VERY EXCITED to move. With the exceptions that I will miss living in this sweet part of town and taking my dogs to that particular park. I can’t freakin wait to have our own place again! I am tired of only having one room to live out of. Granted, we have full use of the kitchen/living room but it isn’t ours. They are communal, and they are always crowded with other people’s stuff and just generally messy. And because there is no room for us to expand into the rest of this place we are living with all our things on top of us. The dogs are getting a little nutso having to live in one room too.

– I really like the diversity of living in a true city. The city we lived in before was pretty small size wise and as well as in its mentality. Small town people in a larger space. I like looking around me and seeing the “differentness”. I like seeing people express their style most of all. Maybe because I’m obsessed with clothes. But the last place we lived everyone seemed to want to look the same. So this is very refreshing. And inspiring. It makes me want to shop.

– I like being in walking distance to things that I need, it’s easy and environmentally sustainable. That being said, sometimes ‘walking distance’ isn’t so walkable and I have to take a streetcar/subway/bus and make all these connections and try not to get lost because even if we still had the car here it would be too much trouble to drive and park. It’s like…all our day to day need are close by so we can live within our little radius of “x” number of blocks most of the time. But when we need to leave that radius it feels like this huge chore that takes all day. It’s a good thing and a bad thing.

– the weather…omg you guys. The last two days have been warm and sunny but with the gorgeous fall colours and the crispness that I so adore. Swoon. Why can’t it always be like this? When it’s not like this, it rains a lot and is pretty darn cold in my opinion. Brrr.

– Halloween is coming up!!! I’m going to Screemers with a friend on Thursday; which, is basically a theme park that only sets up around Halloween and has seven (!) different haunted houses and rides and a spooky bar and all the things I love. I don’t know why or at what point in my life I began to love Halloween to this level but I just loooove Halloween. I’m going to be working on our costumes for the party on Friday night, yayyy! Then carving pumpkins, watching “Hocus Pocus” (favourite movie evarrrr!), and giving out candy to trick or treaters (or hoarding it to myself while I watch movies with my dogs).

– Cheap yoga! Okay, it’s actually stupid expensive here. But, the place I’m going to now has a trial membership for newcomers and the price is fantastic. So, for the next month I’m going to do lots of yoga. Then maybe switch to a new studio and try their membership rate (does this make me a bad person? What? I’m an unemployed, former student. Who happens to need yoga in order to not behave like an ADHD child on speed).

Well, now it’s almost 11pm here and I’m craving baked goods and all amped up about Halloween to the point where I should have a nice difficult time going to sleep 🙂 Ah well. C’est la vie. Know what else? I stewed a bunch of apple and cranberries with pumpkin pie spice and brown sugar and it’s amazing. I’m so clever. And humble, clearly.

Night all!

A little bit of everything.

Wooeee I’m bad at posting. I think about it all day long in terms of things I want to write about or pictures I want to post but then my brain is like “naahh…let’s not remember to do those things” at night. I’m trying to get better because I really do like blogging! For now, this is going to be point form style so that I can hit on several areas of life.

– J passed his first big exam! His percentage came in at the class average and that’s just great. He was worried about it, if you recall, and it turns out all his worry was for naught. Yay!

– Poesy is settling in nicely. She has gone 3 (!) consecutive days/nights without any accidents! And lots of asking at the door when she needs out. Hallelujah! I’ve also started leaving her for 2-3 hrs in the crate so that I can leave the house again…and she is totally fine! She is making puppy friends at the park, and she has learned “sit!”  and “drop it!” apart from that we are working hard on “come!” and “no bite!” I have high hopes those will click soon…you should see my scraped up/bruised arms/legs/feet.

– Gizmo has good days and bad days where the puppy is concerned. Some days he’s excited to have a comrade to play with and chase, etc. etc. And then some days are bad days. Today is a bad day. I think its because J invited puppy onto the bed while we were trying to wake up, just for snuggles. And Gizmo has a very specific morning snuggle routine that he did not like having disrupted. That, and he is a major jerk in the morning. Sigh. I hope they have more good days.

– Last week I went and bought pants. Not only that but some shirts too. And guys, it seriously makes all the difference. It’s so much easier to feel good about yourself when you aren’t wearing you lululemons and old tshirts all day, every day. Soooooo much better. I didn’t buy anything fancy or overhaul my style or anything but a couple pairs of jeans and some new tops has really done wonders. Wonders that I needed because I was beginning to feel like I was a schlumpy person, not just a person who was wearing schlumpy clothes.

– Halloween is in two weeks! We have our costume picked out for the med school shindig and I’m pretty excited. It’s going to be cool. I’m keeping it sort of a surprise for now, but I’ll give you a hint: I’m happy to not have to be a “sexy/cute” anything this year. Going back to the true Halloween roots and being scary. And no. I’m not going as myself in the morning 🙂

– I’ve also been starting up grad school applications (eek). Trying to figure out what area to study in is what’s killing me right now. That being said, I get the feeling that you are allowed to scrap all plans and head in another direction once you get into studies if you so choose. I’ll let you know how it goes.

– We are trying to make Christmas plans. It is complicated this year. We have no choice but to kennel the dogs if we go home, which neither of us really want to do. We hate the idea of leaving them combined with the idea of paying $500-$600+ for a week of lodging just for the dogs. The other problem is choosing a date. This is only a problem because J could potentially need to be in Victoria over the break, but we don’t know when (to dispute a traffic ticket, long story short he didn’t deserve the one he got and he doesn’t want it on his record.) So dates are hard. And we don’t want to miss out on spending his Christmas break/time off school together. Being at opposite ends of the country at that time would majorly suck.

That’s about it for now. My dogs are “fight” playing. And we have to go to the vet later for Poesy’s next round of shots. So I had better get moving. Have a great week everyone!